Both personal experience and numerous studies confirm that genuine friendships are an essential source of balance and well-being, and that cultivating them contributes significantly to our physical and emotional health.
Friendships and cultivating a willingness to be friendly do not influence our well-being alone; they also touch a deeper area—the spiritual one. We will explore five ways in which friendship can help us draw closer to heaven.
True friendship and our relationship with God
The Lord Jesus Christ called His disciples friends: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). The Greek word philos used in this verse and translated as “friend” means “loved,” “dear,” or “devoted”; it also refers to a close friend or a “congenial associate” (that is, a person with whom you are in spiritual and emotional harmony).[1] Christ took the initiative, and at His invitation, we can embody everything that philos means in our relationship with God, just as the disciples did. The possibility is real, and the decision to embrace it is ours.
How we cultivate friendship with God
The friendship between God and our first parents gives us much to think about, because “when Christ, with loving care, knelt over Adam, shaping this first man’s hand, He must have known that men’s hands would someday abuse and ultimately nail Him to the cross.”[2] Yet Jesus Christ breathed the breath of life into Adam’s nostrils. Can we imagine how close God was to Adam when the man first opened his eyes? He was the first being Adam saw and came to know. Eve experienced the same closeness when God created her. Their encounter with the Creator came before their encounter with each other and reminds us that, even today, we need to spend time in His presence.
Abraham is called “the friend of God” in several passages of the Bible (James 2:23; Isaiah 41:8; 2 Chronicles 20:7), and God shared profound things with him. On one occasion, He even visited him in human form, and Abraham interceded for the city of Sodom. Later, Moses, too, was a friend of God, communicating with Him regularly. In the New Testament, Jesus calls Lazarus a friend; He gladly went to the home of Lazarus and his sisters, Mary and Martha, and found refreshment there.
Today, God continues to speak to us and share vital things with us. Even though we do not see Him with our physical eyes, drawing close to Him changes our perspective: without that closeness, we may perceive Him as distant or harsh, and His place may be taken by things that do not fulfill our deepest needs.
Sabbath: time for God, rest, and friendship
The day that followed the creation of Adam and Eve was not devoted to work, but to rest and friendship. The Sabbath has several meanings, one of which is social. Some theologians have noted that during the first three days of creation, God created spaces, and during the following three days, He filled them: birds in the sky, fish in the water, and various animals on the earth. Finally, Adam and Eve were created. That left the seventh day of the week: if the first three days were about spaces, and the following three about what filled them, then the seventh day carries the most perfect content—the very presence of God and friendship with Him. The Sabbath thus becomes a complete blessing—social, physical, intellectual, and spiritual—an experience worth trying.
The benefits of friendship: an essential environment for growth
If a relationship with God had been sufficient, Adam would have remained alone. But human beings need relationships with others. Friendships thus become an environment for spiritual growth: each of us influences those around us and is influenced by them. As the Bible says: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). In other words, another person’s influence can make us better. Isolating ourselves is a double loss—we lose, and others lose. There are certain things about God that we understand through other people, who thus become windows into heavenly truths.
The writer Ellen White observed that people who choose to isolate themselves and refuse to offer support to others lose a great deal, because our minds develop through living, authentic connections: “By social intercourse, acquaintances are formed and friendships contracted which result in a unity of heart and an atmosphere of love which is pleasing in the sight of heaven.”[3] Kindness should not be offered selectively, but to everyone who needs a kind word, whether friend or stranger.[4]
Friendship following Christ’s example: respect and acceptance
Two factors that contribute significantly to the growth of others are respect for people and confidence in what they can become. In fact, “respect shown to the struggling human soul is the sure means through Christ Jesus of the restoration of the self-respect the man has lost.”[5] Psychologist Jennifer Jill Schwirzer observed that “social acceptance makes us better people.”[6] It is not difficult to understand why some called Jesus Christ “a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matthew 11:19). He spent time with people in order to bring them into a saving relationship with Him. The great truths of the Bible are best understood within the context of relationships, both with God and with others.[7]