Sometimes, I wonder what I would be like if I were more like Jesus. Above all, I wonder how He would act in my situation. I have to admit that these questions sometimes leave me feeling lost.
Life would be much simpler if Jesus could tell me directly how to handle the situations I’m going through. But apparently He says nothing. Instead, He gives me the freedom to be myself and to act according to my free will.
When I was a child, my mother used to read me the Gospel of Matthew, and even then I was fascinated by the confidence Jesus displayed in every interaction. I was struck by His maturity, which was evident even at the age of 12, as well as the theological and philosophical convictions He displayed in His dialogues with the Pharisees, the Sadducees, and the leading priests.
Later, I was impressed by the way He chose His disciples. He was confident and firm without applying undue pressure; selective yet inclusive. He chose people with different financial circumstances and from different social backgrounds; some had beautiful characters, while others had vices and flaws. Some were loyal, while others were traitors. His willingness to choose people with different traits and imperfections shows me that Jesus does not seek perfection, but open hearts.
The Word made flesh
The personality of a God who chose to take on human form and dwell among us, as the Bible says in John 1:14, cannot help but amaze us. In fact, His birth divided history into two periods: before and after Christ.
From the Gospels, I have perceived His personality to be linked to a phrase that has remained etched in my memory. It is Jesus’s cry from the cross: “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46). I was only six years old when I first repeated these words of Jesus. I didn’t truly understand them; I only knew what they meant in Romanian.
Years later, I realised that Jesus’s question also expressed a profound search. It was then that I realised that the absence of questions or introspection is not a virtue. In fact, God delights in me seeking Him with all my strength, honesty, and heart, so that I may find answers to the uncertainties of my soul. Even during times of trial, doubt, or helplessness, God remains unchanged, open to dialogue and revelation.
I am struck by the fact that Jesus did not offer rigid, immediate solutions to every specific problem, but rather allowed His teachings to serve as a living guide, applicable according to context and the individual’s heart. This approach does not relativise the truth, but emphasises the importance of discernment and sincere searching. Although it may sometimes seem to leave room for doubt or question without providing direct answers, the essence remains clear: God’s truth is revealed to those who seek it with an open heart.
But perhaps this is precisely where His wisdom lies, as it encourages me to think for myself, to make my own choices, and to act from a deep understanding of love and truth rather than simply following a set of clear “commands”. In fact, I believe that Jesus urges me to develop a personal and authentic relationship with God and to learn to discern what is right, good, and true in every situation.
In truth and in love
I am fascinated by the way he conveyed the truth, adapting himself to the listener without giving politician-like answers or being evasive, without being cunning or cowardly. He always took a public stand—honest yet wise, firm yet gentle, demanding yet loving, modest yet dignified. These apparent paradoxes remain valuable lessons for me today. He is a model I strive towards daily.
Another intriguing moment is Jesus’s intercession for those who had harmed Him. At the most intense moment of His incarnation, when the weight of all humanity’s sins was upon Him, He was forsaken by all His loved ones, struggling for every breath, and yet He cried out to God: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing!” (Luke 23:34). What greater proof of self-sacrifice and love could I possibly expect from the one who was pierced for my sins and intercedes before God on my behalf?
Through His prayer, Jesus resets my priorities and personal values. He shows me that empathy is stronger than ignorance, gentleness superior to cruelty, and that hatred shamefully surrenders in the face of love. Jesus lived out humanity in all its complexity, experiencing pain, doubt, and loneliness, yet also displaying unimaginable love and compassion.
In the turmoil of life, He is the God who understands me—He knows my fragility, my tendency towards revenge, my inclination towards evil, and my endless questions about justice, which are so piercing in a profoundly unjust world. I finally understand that only by looking at the face of Jesus can I make my own face whole.
Adriel Răducan talks about how he discovered Jesus in the Gospels, finding new meanings in His words and actions, and seeing how these have shaped his spiritual life.