Widely discussed in recent years, the term self-care generally refers to focusing on the needs and goals that contribute to our well-being. “Love yourself!” has become the motto of this “ultimate form of self-care,” which some Christians see as a stepping stone toward loving and caring for others. But just how biblical are the ideas of self-love and self-prioritization—concepts so deeply woven into our modern culture?
The term self-care has taken on a remarkably broad range of meanings, encompassing virtually any action aimed at fulfilling a personal need. It refers to being aware of one’s limits and needs and choosing what promotes physical, emotional, and mental well-being. The range of activities that fit under this umbrella seems endless. In practice, taking care of yourself can mean anything from a luxury vacation to a scented salt bath at home, from an evening run to indulging in a piece of creamy chocolate.
Messages such as “Put yourself at the top of your to-do list and everything else will fall into place,” “Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish,” or “Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury,” are everywhere. As The Beatles famously sang, “All you need is love.” Expanding on that idea, John Lennon once said we must learn to love ourselves “in all our glory and our imperfections” if we hope to truly love others. It’s a message often echoed—albeit in a softened form—by teachings that claim roots in biblical truth.
Self-care can come at a high price
The fact that the definition of self-care has become increasingly loose is only natural, says Anna Borges, editor at Self magazine. She notes that her own understanding of self-care differs from someone else’s—and that this should, in fact, be the point: each person must find their own tools to achieve the well-being they aspire to.
The self-care industry is heavily shaped by technology, says American writer Charlotte Lieberman, who describes how our digital devices have distanced us from our inner selves and turned our focus toward the data they generate about us—from calories burned to stress levels and sleep quality. The irony, she says, is that these very metrics, meant to reflect our progress in self-care, end up feeding perfectionist tendencies, making us self-critical whenever we fall out of rhythm, and in extreme cases, driving us toward an obsession with becoming the “best version” of ourselves.
While the self-care movement is often associated with a healthy lifestyle—and viewed as a response to the high cost of healthcare (at least in the United States)—the reality is that the lifestyle it promotes is far from accessible to everyone, according to an analysis in New York Magazine. It tends to cater to those who can afford to spend hundreds of dollars on new skincare regimens or detox treatments, convinced they’ve uncovered the secrets to perfect health—secrets, the author wryly says, that their corrupt and incompetent doctor either doesn’t know or conveniently ignores.
Writer Jane Marie admitted that she has no idea how to build a self-care routine—everything she can think of either takes too much money or too much time. Her remark highlights how capitalist society has managed to confine the idea of self-care to the frantic use of a credit card. More than ever, society has taken the individual’s desire to meet personal needs and turned it into a cycle of consumption—especially of cosmetics, electronics, and fast food—while simultaneously sending messages about the importance of healthy eating and exercise. As a result, the way America (and not only America) approaches self-care has become both superficial and contradictory.
A brief history of the self-care concept
Around the time of the U.S. presidential election in November 2016—and especially in the week following it—Americans searched the term self-care on Google twice as often as before. The idea of taking care of oneself was, of course, not born during the election campaign, but it had become the “new chicken soup” for the American soul, says writer Aisha Harris, emphasizing that it began as a strictly medical concept.
In the 1960s and 1970s, doctors used the term self-care when referring to patients—particularly those requiring long-term treatment—who were encouraged to adopt healthy habits to complement professional medical care. Later, the concept was extended to professions at high risk of emotional burnout, based on the premise that caring for oneself is essential to effectively caring for others.
Tracing the political and philosophical roots of the self-care concept, Shahidha Bari, a professor at the University of the Arts London, notes that the Esalen Institute in California is widely regarded as the birthplace of the modern wellness movement. Founded in the 1960s by two Stanford graduates, Michael Murphy and Dick Price, the institute played a key role in the human potential movement, which focused on helping individuals reach their full potential through an eclectic mix of methods and disciplines. Over time, Esalen became a hub for New Age beliefs and practices, attracting writers and intellectuals who experimented with alternative approaches to health, emphasizing holistic medicine and yoga.
The counterculture of the 1960s and 1970s helped spread the ideas that took root at Esalen—including the notion of self-care—among young people interested in health and personal growth. These ideas eventually laid the foundations of today’s wellness industry, says André Spicer, professor of organizational behaviour and theory at Cass Business School in London.
Many modern ideas of self-care emerged as the concept shifted from the medical realm into the political, says professor Natalia Mehlman Petrzela, citing the rise of the feminist and civil rights movements. Women and people of colour sought to reclaim control over their own health, frustrated by the failures of a “technocratic, very racist, and sexist” medical system to meet their needs. Women’s rights activists opened their own clinics, where patients were guaranteed respect for their reproductive rights, while the Black Panther Party—a political organization founded in 1966 to challenge police brutality against African Americans—launched a series of social programs, including free health clinics in 13 Black communities across the United States.
Both movements also nurtured a more niche concern: wellness—an active process through which people become aware of the need to make choices that lead to a healthy, fulfilled life on every level. This multidimensional notion of well-being became the cornerstone of the self-care movement, and a windfall for the industry built around it, especially as moments of political and social instability heighten the perceived importance of turning inward to care for oneself, Harris says.
The September 11 attacks, the 2016 U.S. presidential election, and the pandemic all triggered such moments, with the latter two dramatically increasing Google searches for “self-care.” It is equally true, however, that today’s fast-paced lifestyle, chronic overload—burnout was officially added to the WHO’s list of medical conditions in 2019—and the constant connectivity gifted to us by technology have created a culture highly receptive to calls for “self-care.”
Is self-care optional?
While some Christians associate the concept with secularism, selfishness, self-indulgence, or mere convenience, others advocate for a healthier, more balanced understanding of what caring for oneself truly means.
Learning to understand our needs—and how to meet them in ways that benefit both ourselves and our relationships—is a very good thing, says the author of an article published in Christian Today. Whatever form personal care takes for each of us—reading the Bible, cooking a healthy meal, going for a run, or watching a movie at the end of a long day—she says that the activities through which we meet our own needs should be part of daily life.
Others emphasize that self-care is not optional, nor is it synonymous with laziness or simple relaxation; it involves sacrifice and discipline. Caring for ourselves, they say, is ultimately a way of acknowledging our limits and practicing the belief that all things are under God’s control.
We sometimes allow spiritual needs to compete with physical ones, but we must attend to both, Christian writer Courtney Reissig says. Precisely because the body has real limits, neglecting its demands carries consequences, including spiritual ones. Balance is crucial—so that we avoid drifting into a stoicism devoid of self-compassion, but also steer clear of the kind of selfishness that rejects sacrifice altogether.
A father of five and pastor of a growing congregation, Derrick Puckett says that the first thing a pastor tends to erase from his to-do list is attention to his own needs. The result, he argues, is that many pastors end up overweight, depressed, or struggling with various addictions—hence his call for a form of self-care rooted in biblical principles.
Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and practices such as prayer (Mark 1:35), rest and time alone (Mark 6:31–32), and meeting our physical needs (Matthew 15:32) are biblically grounded ways of caring for ourselves. What the secular notion of self-care lacks, Puckett says, is an understanding of the human person as a whole. Truly caring for ourselves does not mean finding ways to escape real life; on the contrary, knowing God and spending time with Him is the most important thing we can do for our own well-being, the pastor says.
“Love yourself!” — secular slogan or biblical counsel?
There is nothing wrong with exercising, sleeping enough, eating well, setting healthy boundaries, or engaging in activities that nourish us physically, intellectually, and spiritually. Still, the modern self-care mantra insists that we are enough exactly as we are, author Katherine Ladd says. If we would only love ourselves enough to accept what we find within and believe that all is well as it is, many of our problems would simply fade away. This message promises to cure real struggles such as depression, frustration, or burnout, but ultimately only distracts us from them rather than healing them.
We should care for our bodies and minds because they are gifts from the Creator, not because we can fix ourselves. That is why practices that contribute to healthy self-care will keep alive our gratitude toward the One who gave us these gifts in the first place.
The message “You are enough!” is comforting, and its advocates are often well-intentioned, says writer Aimee Joseph, acknowledging the value of efforts to correct a culture that glorifies beauty, achievement, and perfection. Still, she says, the message inevitably falls short because it overlooks both the damage sin has done to humanity and the beauty and perfection that, through Jesus Christ, are attributed to His children. When we admit that we will never be good enough in a world marked by sin, we can cling to the only hope that does not disappoint: the One who has the power to reshape us in His likeness. This, Joseph says, is the truth Scripture reveals—we are not enough on our own, but we are more than enough in Him.
The self-care movement often hinges on the idea that we “deserve” to take care of ourselves—a message echoed in countless advertisements—and that we generally deserve to love ourselves enough to pursue whatever brings us joy. Yet there are many ways to love oneself, says Grace Liu in an article examining the different dimensions of self-love.
The exhortation “Love yourself!” springs from a Buddhist view of human nature, Liu says. “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone more deserving of your love and affection than yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere,” Buddha once said. This teaching, she says, is elegantly repackaged in many Christian messages that attempt to attach a third commandment to the two Jesus gives in Matthew 22:34–40: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind… Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Loving your neighbour as yourself is entirely different from loving others only after you have learned to love yourself, Christian counselor Doug Britton says. It is in our very nature to love ourselves—in essence, to want what is best for us—and this instinct toward our own well-being persists even beneath layers of self-destructive behaviour or negative self-perception. Loving our neighbour requires following the same direction: we are called to be concerned for the good of others, to help them in their needs, rather than retreating into our own.
Theology student James Beevers recalls hearing as a child the message: “You can only love God and your neighbour as much as you accept and love yourself!” and sensing, however vaguely, that something was amiss. The lack of self-love is often presented as the root of many personal struggles—from depression to obesity—so the solution, it is said, is to free ourselves from negative thoughts and embrace who we are. But such a form of self-love is unbiblical and carries serious limitations, Beevers says.
If we manage to look within ourselves with clear-eyed honesty, then—as both experience and Scripture teach—we will not find much that is inherently lovable; in fact, we may be overwhelmed by our own imperfections. An unbiblical view of self-love leaves us both unsatisfied and unsanctified when we ignore the messages our consciences send us. Christ invites us to come to Him as we are, not to remain as we are, the counselor says. We need to see ourselves in the right mirror, stepping out of the line of people who are “lovers of themselves… rather than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:1–5) and embracing God’s overwhelming love for us, a love that receives us on the basis of His merits.
From “Love yourself!” to “Love (and care) in the way Jesus did!”
When we begin to untangle the knot of self-love, focusing in unhealthy ways on our own needs, desires, and achievements, we set out on a road that inevitably ends in a dead end. The more we fix our attention on God’s love, however, the more we find meaning and purpose in a world without signposts. We are freed from the pressure of comparison, from the urge to keep up with others, from the illusion that we can shed our burdens by unlocking some hidden inner power, and from the assumption that we inherently deserve the best of everything.
In a world that has distorted the very shape of love, Jesus remains our model for how to love.
When we love with a love like His, we can step outside the narrow circle of our own interests and clearly see the needs of those around us. This kind of love doesn’t give only what’s left over, and it doesn’t wait for abundance before it acts; it sacrifices—for the sake of others. Caring for our own well-being fits within the call to steward wisely what God has given us, so that we can pour ourselves into His work, which inevitably includes serving even the least of His brothers and sisters.
God cares about our well-being, and the Old Testament instructions for caring for the body and mind make that abundantly clear. At the same time, we should remember that most of us already live in circumstances far better than many who face persecution, poverty, or hunger. Yet the promise of “life to the full” extends even to those who cannot afford—and would never dare to dream of—a vacation or a dinner out.
If we truly believe that “life is more than food, and the body more than clothes” (Matthew 6:25), we will find the courage to entrust ourselves to the One who loves us “with an everlasting love,” letting Him teach us what authentic love and genuine well-being look like. And if, along this path, we cross paths with self-denial (John 15:13), sacrifice (Matthew 5:42), and humility (Philippians 2:3), we will know we are moving toward healing—the very healing sought, with increasing desperation, even by those who prescribe the relentless regimen of self-love.
Carmen Lăiu is an editor of Signs of the Times Romania and ST Network.