Psychologists recommend all sort of things you should have to develop a healthy and strong mind, like tenacity, ambition or optimism. To achieve this objective, however, there are also some things you should avoid.

People who have a strong mind have healthy habits when it comes to behaviour, emotions, feelings and thought management. Amy Morin, psychotherapist and social worker, has compiled a list for Forbes of 13 things you should avoid if you wish to be mentally strong.

How to have a strong mind

1. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself

People who have a strong mind do not waste time lamenting the tough situations they go through. They take responsibility for the mistakes they’ve made and they acknowledge the idea that, most of the time, life is unfair and failures are not always the result of their own actions. Furthermore, they learn from their mistakes to improve their future behaviour.

2. Do not allow anyone to make you feel inferior or bad

People who have a strong mind do not allow those around them to make them feel inferior, because they know they are the only ones able to control their actions and emotions, including their reactions to other people’s behaviour.

3. Do not let change frighten you

People who have a strong mind are not afraid of changes, but regard them as challenges. What they fear is self-limitation and self-indulgence in certain situations, not change.

4. Do not waste your energy on things you cannot control

People who have a strong mind do not complain too much about traffic, for instance, or about luggage lost at the airport or about other people, because they understand that these are things they cannot control. The only thing they can do is to control their reaction and attitude when faced with a situation they can neither change nor control.

5. Don’t worry about trying to please those around you

People who have a strong mind try hard to be good, gentle and considerate to those around them when it’s possible and suitable, but will not avoid telling them something out of fear of disturbing or upsetting them. (Of course, they will be tactful in doing so.)

5. Do not be afraid of taking calculated risks

People who have a strong mind are not afraid to take calculated risks, nor do they jump head-first into uncalculated situations. They weigh both the risks and the benefits, evaluating both the possible successes as well as the failures before taking action.

7. Do not dwell on the past

People who have a strong mind do not insist on evoking frustrations, disappointments, failures or even good times which belong to the past. They acknowledge them and learn from them, but invest their energy in creating as good a present and future as possible.

8. Do not repeat the same actions but expect a different result

People who have a strong mind do not repeat the same mistakes waiting for a different result. They take responsibility for past mistakes and learn from them, meditating on them in a healthy, correct and productive way.

9. Do not be envious of other people’s success

People who have a strong mind are not envious of other people’s success. On the contrary, they are glad for them. However, they can take heed of what those people did to be successful, so that they can apply the lessons to their own lives.

10. Do not give up even if you failed

People who have a strong mind do not give up, not even after a failure. For them, failure is an opportunity to move forward, to make improvements. These people are aware of the fact that they will fall many times, but they are also aware that they will rise each time, if they are willing to learn from mistakes and failures.

11. Do not be afraid of loneliness

People who have a strong mind are not afraid of moments of loneliness. They use these moments to meditate, make plans and be productive. The most important thing is that they do not depend on others to feel good and be happy. They can be happy in the presence of others, but also on their own.

12. Do not think the world owes you everything

People who have a strong mind do not live with the idea that the world owes them everything, but are willing to work to achieve their goals on their own merits.

13. Do not expect instant results

People who have a strong mind do not expect immediate results. They know that it often takes time and perseverance to reach the desired result and use their skills and energy to do everything they can to reach their goal.