We often forget that a relationship is the sum of two people—he + she = they—and what one does inevitably affects the other. That means each person’s behaviour influences the entire dynamic. Yet, more often than not, we focus on what the other person should or could do for us or for the relationship, and rarely stop to ask: What can I do for them? What can I do for us?
According to studies cited by Psychology Today, both partners share equal responsibility for the health of the relationship. It’s essential for each person to consider the other’s happiness and well-being, to contribute their part—and when they do, the results often follow. Here are a few suggestions on how to become a better partner:
1. Get enough rest
Fatigue—and the stress that comes with it—is often the enemy of a healthy relationship. Lack of sleep drains your energy, clouds your thinking, shortens your temper, and weakens your self-control. Research shows that people with stronger self-control tend to act more responsibly and constructively in relationships, which leads to more stable and fulfilling partnerships.
2. Take action
You don’t need grand, dramatic gestures to sustain a relationship—what matters most are the small things done with genuine care. Simple acts like staying positive, being understanding, sharing your feelings, expressing clearly what you want or need from the relationship, spending quality time together, and contributing to household responsibilities can all strengthen your bond and deepen your connection.
3. Express gratitude
Gratitude is vital in any relationship, and especially in marriage. But feeling thankful isn’t enough—you need to express it. Letting your partner know you appreciate them not only makes them feel valued, but also nurtures the health and stability of your relationship.
4. Don’t let hunger take over
Just like with lack of sleep, when you’re hungry you can become irritable, short-tempered, aggressive, and tense. Naturally, this doesn’t do any good for a relationship.
5. Be humble
Studies have shown that humility is a vital ingredient in any relationship. Humble individuals are more likely to apologise and to forgive—attitudes without which a relationship simply cannot thrive.
6. Spend quality time together
The quality of the time you spend together matters more than the quantity. Meaningful, focused time with your partner significantly increases relationship satisfaction.
7. Be kind
Start by being kind and understanding toward yourself—only then can you extend that same kindness to others.
Research also shows that it’s far more beneficial for your relationship to ask what you can do for it, rather than focusing on what your partner should or could be doing.
