Psychologists recommend all sorts of things you need to do or have in order to nurture a healthy and strong mind – such as tenacity, ambition or optimism – but there are also some things you should avoid for the same purpose.

People who have a strong mind, have healthy habits in terms of behavior and management of emotions, feelings and thoughts. Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and social worker, has compiled a list of 13 things to avoid if you want to be mentally strong.

Don’t waste time pitying yourself

People with a strong mind do not waste time complaining about the difficult situations they go through. They take responsibility for the mistakes they have made and take on the idea that, most of the time, life is unfair and failures are not always the result of their own actions. Moreover, they learn from mistakes how to improve their behavior in the future.

Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior or bad

People who have a strong mind do not allow those around them to make them feel inferior, because they know that they are the only ones who can control their actions and emotions, including reactions to the behavior of others.

Don’t be afraid of change

People who have a strong mind are not afraid of change, but consider it a challenge. The thing they do fear is being capped or indulging in a certain mediocre situation.

Don’t waste your energy on things you can’t control

People who have a strong mind do not complain too much about traffic, for example, or lost luggage at the airport or about other people, because they understand that these are things they cannot control. The only thing they can do is control their reaction and attitude in the face of a situation they cannot change or control.

Don’t worry about trying to please those around you.

People with a strong mind strive to be kind, gentle, and agreeable to those around them when possible and appropriate, but they are not afraid to speak or tactfully say anything for fear of bothering or upsetting others.

Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks

People with a strong mind are not afraid to take calculated risks, but they do not rush into uncalculated situations. They weigh both the risks and the benefits, assessing both possible successes and failures before taking action.

Do not dwell on the past

People with a strong mind do not persist in evoking frustrations, disappointments, failures, or good times from the past. They take them on, recognize them and learn from them, but invest their energy in creating a present and a future as good as possible.

Do not repeat the same actions, waiting for a different result

People with a strong mind do not repeat the same mistakes waiting for a different result. They take responsibility for the mistakes of their past and learn from them, reflecting on them in a healthy, correct and productive way.

Do not envy the success of others

People with a strong mind do not envy the success of others, but they do rejoice over them. However, they can remember what those people did to achieve success and apply the things they learned in their own lives.

Don’t give up even if you have failed

People with a strong mind do not give up even after a failure. For them, failure is an opportunity to move forward, to make improvements. These people are aware that they will fall many times, but they are also aware that they will bounce back if they are willing to learn from mistakes and failures.

Don’t be afraid of loneliness

People who have a strong mind are not afraid of moments of loneliness. They use them to think, to make plans and to be productive. The most important thing is that they do not depend on others to feel good and to be happy; they can be happy in the presence of others, but also alone.

Don’t think that the world owes you anything

People who have a strong mind do not live with the idea that the world owes them everything, but are willing to work and achieve their goal based on their own merits.

Do not expect immediate results

People with a strong mind do not expect immediate results. They know that it often takes time and perseverance to reach the desired result and they use their abilities and energy to do everything they can to reach their goal.