What (not) to say when apologising
"I was wrong. I'm sorry"—these words can have a magical effect on a struggling relationship. But if we fail to show empathy, the apology will sound fake or hurt the offended person even more.
Colour you happy
Happiness is . . . ? How would you finish the sentence? What do you think happiness is? Positive psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, in The How of Happiness, says it is is “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive wellbeing, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
When making friends is not easy | Friendship and shyness
Next to family and health, friends are among the top reasons that make us happy. But what if we are solitary, recluse or shy?
The casino inside your phone
In the February 2023 issue of Signs of the Times, I wrote an article titled Gambling’s Dark Underbelly. Here in Australia, gambling is a multi-billion-dollar industry with a few very rich winners and millions of losers. In the article I concluded that “Gambling in any form is designed to bleed you for as long as you’re willing to bleed, with no regard for...
From science to magic: the unpredictable journey of positive thinking
Over the years, the concept of positive thinking has proved to be extremely versatile and has managed to lure millions of people into the grip of powerful promises, convincing them that life can offer more than what they have been able to experience so far.
A sad soul is one whose lights have been turned off
Depression, sadness, melancholy, sorrow and despair are universal human states of mind that have given rise to distinct cultures, with nuances specific to different eras and places. These cultures have manifested themselves in everything from poems and songs to philosophical concepts. However, while we acknowledge the creativity that can arise from suffering, like a pearl formed from an oyster's irritation, our focus is...
Generosity: the liberating face of love
It happens to all of us: we feel the warmth of a song or the peace of prayer and have the sense that God’s love is there, alive and near. But true love does not stop at emotion. It asks to be expressed in concrete ways, shaping the choices and actions of everyday life.
How parenting has turned into a strategy game
One of the most striking changes in contemporary parenting is the way it is starting to resemble a well-designed video game, which can make players become addicted. But what happens to parents who feel they are losing the game?
Temperance: the lost virtue
Temperance was once upheld by philosophers, saints and stoics. In a world dominated by indulgence, its call to balance feels more relevant than ever.
How to be a better partner
We often forget that a relationship is the sum of two people—he + she = they—and what one does inevitably affects the other. That means each person’s behaviour influences the entire dynamic. Yet, more often than not, we focus on what the other person should or could do for us or for the relationship, and rarely stop to ask: What can I do...
Cohabiting before marriage reduces the risk of divorce: true or false?
More and more people are choosing cohabitation over marriage. Many young people believe that cohabiting helps them to make better decisions about marriage by giving the couple a chance to "practise" before making a lifelong commitment. There is also a belief that cohabiting before marriage reduces the likelihood of marital problems or divorce.
The ideal of a couple
I recently watched a TV show in which the guests, which included professors and psychotherapists, when asked about the feminine ideal in the contemporary world, expressed opinions that seemed strange to me: that such an ideal would no longer be detectable or would no longer have a purpose, today...
Overcoming boundaries without crossing the line
I was a young student looking for a good paying job to support my family and my studies. On that day, I found myself in the head nurse’s office at the nearby nursing home for the elderly.
Where has love gone?
Born in 1999, Alex is on the cusp of the millennial generation. We're 12 years apart, but we have a lot in common. One is an unhappy time at school. Back in my day, it was called being an "emo": a kid who was too sensitive, too sad, too lonely, too shy, too everything.
Good or bad: How we come to love negative characters
It is as surprising as it is real: negative characters like Dexter Morgan, from the eponymous Dexter, and Walter White, from Breaking Bad, have been cropping up in popular culture more and more often lately. Since when, how, and why have anti-heroes gained so much popularity?


























